How Our Garden’s Grow

I’ve been an avid gardener for years now. Not a good gardener necessarily, but a persistent one if nothing else. This year is the first year I’ve had true abundance in my garden. Now, this is due to a lot of reasons. First of all, my older sister now rents my basement apartment and she also loves gardening, so my efforts have been doubled. Second, I went from being a single mom of 3 busy kids the last few years, to getting married this spring, and truly, life is much easier with two caring parents in the house! So, I have a lot of support in the other areas of my life that I hadn’t before. And finally, the previous years of trial-and-error learning seemed like they really came together for us this year in learning what works.

Needless to say, I’ve been proud of it. Probably like how my daughter feels after working on a drawing all afternoon and finally seeing it on the fridge. So satisfying, as my kids would say.

Well, I happened to have a good friend over a few weeks ago just to hang out and we poked around the garden. After a bit I started to sense that it kind of made her sad to see my garden growing so well, and yet she bravely said, “I’m so happy for you that your garden is doing so well.” As we walked, I pondered.

I started to think about how this friend had told me that the seeds she had put into the ground the last few years had not grown at all, as if they were placed in Death Valley. Then I thought about all the burdens she was carrying right now—a mama of three children with special needs, her physical health struggling, her mental health taking huge blows because of these things, and how even small tasks felt monstrous around her house right now. She must not feel like her gardens are growing at all, anywhere in her life.

I wanted to say to her and everyone else—mine has not always grown either! I believe we will all have these times of drought in life, where we feel there isn’t any growth and everything is an uphill battle.

First of all, please don’t give up. The things you are learning will bless your life and so many others in the years to come. The very burdens we carry, so many others do as well, and when we come away stronger, one day someone will look at us and say, “Okay. If they made it, then I can make it, too.” Your compassion for these people will become a healing balm that they desperately need.

Second, you are growing! Even though you cannot see it. Just like the roots that are invisible for so long in a garden, you grow stronger by the day even when you feel you are breaking. And when it is time for your gardens to grow up, you will be amazed at the growth.

Third, what’s invisible will one day be known. When we compare the fruits of our own labors with others, it’s so easy to beat ourselves up. This is often because the burdens we carry are hard or impossible to see in the moment. This friend of mine? She only learned her children have special needs three years ago—before that she just felt like an incompetent parent. She could not see the load she was carrying. This woman is so brave! One day, we will look back at our younger selves and say “Wow! I handled so much. My burdens were so heavy—and look at all I became through it all.”

And you know what. That will be satisfying.

I love you all! Good luck on your journeys.

Carrie Petersen Mayo, M.S.